rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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