his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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