It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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