I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize