and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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