in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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