I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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