Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize