Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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