he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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