people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize