fuck your aforementioned shoe
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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