just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
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