Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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