so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize