My room smells like vodka and shame
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
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either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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