It's like a parade of train wrecks.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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