He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And then he peed in my hair
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