you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize