Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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