She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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