I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize