no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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