the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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