Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

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(503): View more from Oregon

No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

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(516): View more from New York

So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence

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(623): View more from Arizona

He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

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(206): View more from Washington

After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.

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(718): View more from New York

Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad

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