you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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