WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize