Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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