So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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