i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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