cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize