I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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