I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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