I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize