mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
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THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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