shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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