i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize