it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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