can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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