youre lurking in front of me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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