i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
