Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize