i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize