need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize