i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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