pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize