the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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