You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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