you traded sex for a burrito?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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