There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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