is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
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Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
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Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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