I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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