No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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